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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29457111">Was I once Blue?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reading_nomatterwhat/pseuds/Reading_nomatterwhat'>Reading_nomatterwhat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drabble, I was stuck on the idea of byleth not being able to remember past routes once the game is reset, Most of the characters are just mentioned, No romantic relationship, One Shot, fe3h - Freeform, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:35:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>898</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29457111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reading_nomatterwhat/pseuds/Reading_nomatterwhat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>So I was stuck on the idea of Byleth not being able to remember past routes once the game does a full reset. I kept imagining a Byleth that felt connected to the Blue Lions but couldn't remember why and the type of residual emotions they may have around characters like Edelgard, Hubert and Tomas. Any who, this is just another entry into the "I only write when over come with emotions!" Enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Was I once Blue?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*Not meant to be a dig on Edelgard or Hubert. I'll save my judgements of their characters once I finish the Black Eagles route. :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Not again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They thought as they slowly moved from the door of the Blue Lions classroom to the door of the classroom they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be in. Byleth walked into the Black Eagles room and collapsed into the chair at the front of the room. They leaned backwards, squeezing their eyes shut tightly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what was happening?.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This had been going on the entire year, it was the Verdant Rain moon now and they still couldn’t explain the way they had been acting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It started as soon as the royal trio had asked them to choose a house to teach and guide for the school year. They had felt really drawn to the Blue Lions house and the Lance with his strong sense of respectful chivalry, but they had this tugging feeling in their stomach that they had to pick someone else..so they did. They picked the Black Eagles, the Axe seemed put together and responsible and they were interested in the mages that existed in the house. But even after they made that choice they had this horrible feeling, one that came back every time they looked in the Axe’s-Edelgard’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But they pushed the feeling aside and continued to provide their house with as much support and guidance as they could. This teaching thing was unfamiliar to them but they found themselves enjoying it as time progressed. Seeing Bernadetta open up about her childhood and make bonds with her classmates, Linhardt offering a helping hand even if it was tiring and watching Petra stand her ground and defend her homeland, made a smile come to their face. But no matter how much pleasure they were driving from their new job, their stomach still sank every time they glanced at Edelgard and their mouth became overtaken with a sour taste when they could feel Hubert staring at the back of their head. Something about those two made them.. Sad? Like an awful sinking feeling watching a disaster they couldn't prevent. At the same time they were filled with a rage they couldn’t explain. It was exhausting, trying to remain impartial and kind when every part of them was commanding them to strike down both Edelgard and Hubert.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were so tired, they found themselves wandering the monastery dodging Black Eagles in favor of finding a place where they could be alone. They ended up in the greenhouse late at night and expecting no one to be there, they walked to the back to sit amongst the humid air and tall flowers. But they saw someone watering the plants, as he turned around they felt recognition course through them. It was Dedue, the Duscur boy from the Blue Lions house. They had never seen him without Dimitri next to him, it was odd seeing him alone. He gazed at them, trying to figure out why they had invaded his space. They walked in slowly and sat on the ground leaning against the side walls. He still watches them, but returns to watering the plants. Neither of you speak, but the silence is comforting...it feels familiar to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They speak up before they could think to stop, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which flower was your sister's favorite again? I’ve forgotten.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stops, and turns to them again looking incredibly confused and mildly scared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know about my sister?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stare at him and realize they had apparently said something weird again. They start into a laugh that morphs into a cry as they try to keep themselves from falling apart. Even when they tried to avoid this kind of scenario it was apparently unavoidable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know..Dedue I swear I have no idea what is wrong with me. I can’t explain it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slowly drops the watering can and sits across from them, folding his legs under him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence permeates again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They break.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They start rambling about the feelings they can’t escape, how their own houses students fill them with anger and hopelessness and they have no idea why. How as much as they love the Black Eagles, there's something deep inside that's telling them they are not to be trusted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How their memory feels foggy and strained, how they don’t understand why they have the habits they do. How they had already bought Annette flowers for her birthday without it being announced. How they will find themselves watching Felix train into the night just to make sure he isn’t straining himself. How they wanted so badly to pull Ashe into a long hug after Lonato died. They wanted to tell Slyvain he was more than just his crest. Show Dimitri the beauty of living for oneself, teach him to let go of the dead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>How they wanted to go to Duscur with Dedue and see these flowers in their natural beauty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And they had </span>
  <em>
    <span>no idea </span>
  </em>
  <span>how they knew these things, how major events feel familiar and yet they don’t remember that until after they happen. How they never felt right around Jeritza...how they still feel that way about Tomas and Monica.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the end of the rant they were exhausted and Dedue was rendered silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Professor...but I’m sure everything will be fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they nodded off they hoped that was true..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But they also knew they wouldn’t remember differently until it was too late. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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